Lessons from the Back-Stabber

We’ve all been there—in that “he loves me, he loves me not” scenario where we wonder if we should step out on a limb, and reveal the feelings we were keeping inside or if the chance isn’t worth the risk of heartbreak. With the first half of my college experience past me and with my recent entrance into the so-called “quarter-life,” I find myself contemplating where the line between taking the leap of faith and suppressing my feelings is drawn. I’ve started to learn that “getting what you want” is a personal and individual responsibility that sometimes (and by sometimes, I mean most times) requires stepping out of your comfort zone and going for it, pushing the fear of heartbreak aside.

My realization was bolstered by the heartburn-inducing, albeit extremely entertaining chick-flick, Something Borrowed. Cheating fiancés and attention-hogging best friends aside, this movie is an encapsulation of my most recent and significant epiphany (not that epiphanies are an extremely common occurrence for me)—that I can’t get what I want without making it happen and that sometimes life requires putting yourself first and putting yourself out there. Fulfilling my needs and desires are my sole responsibility. Worrying about other people so much that I put myself second, is not okay. (Just to be clear, I’m not suggesting subverting concern for other people; however, I am suggesting that concern for one’s own needs not be placed on the back burner—something I’ve been previously guilty of.)

In Something Borrowed, Rachel, the initially submissive and painfully acquiescent “people-pleaser” is so scared of stepping out on the aforementioned “limb” that she loses the opportunity with her Prince Charming while her best friend scoops him up fearlessly. While I don’t wish a man-stealing best friend on any one of you or myself, I do think there is a lesson to be learned from this back-stabber—that she got what she wanted because she went for it. In the movie, Rachel learns from this, too, and yes, she gets her Prince Charming back when she FINALLY goes for it—saying and doing what she wants, and throwing what’s expected of her to the wind.

We have to be open to the idea of putting ourselves out there. Is there some risk involved? Yes. But does the possibility of achieving what you want make the risk worth it? Definitely! Stepping out of your comfort zone can, of course, be uncomfortable and learning to put your own needs first can take time, but, like Rachel, maybe we’ll start to see that a little bit of gutsiness can result in a lot of personal benefit!